The Emperor's New Kettlebells

Psst...Fedor....your bells are showing!

Winter Challenge

Hello USFHCCC!! I'm really missing our Thursday night workouts.

I've been wanting to post some workout/challenges here to keep us going until the Spring and warmer weather.

Here's the first:

100 burpees.

Post the time it takes you to get through all 100, then try to beat it. I like to think of it as 10 sets of 10 burpees. It's a little easier to swallow!

Stay warm and hope to see you all on Dec 13!!

Another hardcore eat

A burger with 2 grilled cheese sandwiches as buns

360 Works Too..

In the theme of Monty Python, here' some practical self defense.

We gotta find a pool

Courtesy of Again Faster.

Tonight's forecast: Dark, with a chance of light in the morning

It's pretty much been implied but never officially stated; our hardcore sessions at the track are probably coming to an end for the season due to the following circumstances:
1) It's getting dark
2) The GSI (Goose Shit Index) is reaching saturation levels
3) Meghan hasn't been coming, so there's no snatch to look at

There has been discussion of trying to get some indoor time at the studio, and we'll keep you all posted. In the meantime practice selfless acts of hardcore by discussing workouts/bacon discoveries you do or come across on the blog. Plus start scheming for next season's titles, like:
USFHCCC v2.0 Beta ME edition 2009 release
USFHCCC: The Return of the Snatch
USFHCCC: Nickleback is a bunch of Ass-sacks.

A hardcore pat on the back to everyone who came out at any point and made the workouts more fun, and special thanks to P-trick and DaniD for putting this all together and coming up with some damn good workouts!

See you in class.

lolStrongman

Love this pic!


From this website: http://spiritualmonkey.livejournal.com/383308.html

Chuck Norris Approves...

...the Krav Maga defense vs. headlock from the side! You doubters can now put it to rest.

Perhaps the Most Super Hardcore Meal??

If you can eat this and live, you're totally hardcore!

Krispy Kreme bacon cheddar cheeseburgers

(1/Hardcore) = Fat

You know... Inverse proportionality.

This blog entry from our hero Ross Enamait substantiates two Hardcore Hatreds:

• Whiny, pansy-ass kids [who are fat].
• Their lame-ass, obnoxious parents
  

http://rosstraining.com/blog/2008/08/26/let-a-kid-be-a-kid/

One more reason why Ross kicks ass.

Here's an entry for the Hardcore C U Next Tuesday file from the comments:

True story, I was at an Ikea the other day, and out in the loading zone, a boy of about 9 years old was taking a few running steps and jumping up on the 2 foot high “bumper” that keeps cars from backing too far over the sidewalk. The response from his mother? “Stop doing that, I don’t feel like suing Ikea today.” Really?

A Tattoo for the Hardcore

http://www.flickr.com/photos/tonysimon/202726487/in/pool-foodtatts

SolarPlexusSaysWhat? Russkie Style

What I had previously seen of Systema made me think "Russian Krav", but then I saw this clip. Some of it is a little Hu-Flung-Do, but it's bad-ass-looking nonetheless!

A Call to Burpee Squats

OK, so the workout was called a rough draft for a reason, as in we did roughly half of it (60/105 burpee squats, 90/195 swings). I vote we make this the new goal-we did the 300 workout already so we're clearly better than everyone else. We can build on it each week! Or never speak of it again.

In case you need more motivation, I'm told Shari can do this 4 or 5 times straight. Get to it.

Reckless? Annoying? Hardcore? Yes Thrice.

There is a certain to-be-left-unnamed person in Krav who, I think, gets a bad rap for being careless and uncoordinated and just generally unsafe. I would argue that she is truly HARDCORE.

• Has she ever gotten hurt? NO
• Does she skip sparring or grappling? NO
• Does she ever complain? NO
  

Who of us is brootal enough to drive a bony elbow into Shelley's nose without apology? That's hardcore.

I suggest that instead of whining about our cuts and contusions and bloodied noses, we need to extend honorary membership to said ruffian.

WWO: Rough draft

P-trick said we didn't have anything real solid for Thursday night yet; I propositioned my in-the-works hybrid exercise cicuit but only received suspicious looks and awkward silence after demonstrating. Fortunately I just found this workout from the Kettlebell facebook group (the hardcore social network?). This looks absolutely disgusting:

30 Burpee’s with a tuck jump
20 Two Hand Kettlebell Swings
25 Burpee’s with a tuck jump
25 Two Hand Kettlebell Swings
20 Burpee’s with a tuck jump
30 Two Hand Kettlebell Swings
15 Burpee’s with a tuck jump
35 Two Hand Kettlebell Swings
10 Burpee’s with a tuck jump
40 Two Hand Kettlebell Swings
5 Burpee’s with a tuck jump
45 Two Hand Kettlebell Swings

Theres no real time structure; the workout is actually a contest to see who can do it the quickest on video. We can skip that.

RE:: Hardcore Hatred #136: Nickelback

I really didn't want to waste another post on these "douche-nozzles", but Blogger won't let you embed in comments—and this was too good to not post!

I'll have to figure out how to embed these in the XML of the blog itself so that we can always be driven to bludgeon Canadians with frosted hair; faux-ripped jeans; and generically strained vocals tossing off lyrics that alternately challenge us to espouse the cause against domestic violence, to empathize with having a whoor girlfriend (Yeah, Nickelback in a barfight—HA!), and to look at what big rock stars they are.

(Why the F do I know these songs so well?!)

Hardcore Hatred #136: Nickelback

I know this has been discussed at length, but I feel it is important to add these douche-nozzles to the hatred database.

There's nothing worse than doing pushups or any kind of Krav drill to "Look at this photograph.."or any of their other sappy Emo lyrics to family-friendly riffs. To add salt in the wound is that the watered down 'rock' made by these torn-jean tampons is so genre-less that it can be played on a wide range of radio stations (including soft rock stations, which says enough), so they're ever present on your work-friendly radio station.

I hope they fall into burning sulfur mine.

Day One Complete & No One's Dead

Despite the instructors' best efforts, no one died in day one of Phase A. There was, however, a dude puking very early on. Oh what joys will tomorrow hold?!

Posted from sunny Sherman Oaks.

The Ultimate Bacon Throwdown

That's right people. Bacon has finally had it, and beneath the smiling, waving, greasy goodness, is a hot sputtering fighting machine. (Dibs on the winner)

Mr. Bacon vs. Monsieur Tofu Mr. Bacon and Monsieur Tofu are fired up and ready to rumble, but only one can remain at the top of the food chain! Mr. Bacon stands 5-5/8" tall and fights for everything salty, greasy and meaty. Monsieur Tofu is 3-3/8" tall and represents all things made of coagulated soy milk. The winner gets eaten for dinner! Each vinyl figure has bendable arms and legs.

PS. I always suspected tofu was French.

WWO #14: Option B sounds better..

Despite the rain, absence of P-trick/DaniD, goose crap and mosquitoes we managed to pull a fun little workout session together. Shelley was introduced to the snatch. Meghan was told to use her knees more by some random guy. John flexed. No cheesecake either!
-30x KB Squat
-Pushups (Double the amount you can do in 30sec)
-Karen's magical KB lunge-clean and press (5 per side)
-Snatch: 5-ladder

Do this cycle 400 times...or twice, whichever your feeling. Stay tuned for next week, where we'll introduce the Palombo Super Pushup ladder....

Hardcore Sendoff

We just wanted to say 'good luck' to you two crazy kids flying out to SoCal for phase training. We'd miss you, but this is no place for emotion. Give us a call sometime during the week if you can..otherwise we'll just assume you're killing everyone out there and we'll just buy you a beer when you get back.

Go kick ass and represent the USFHCCC HARDCORE!!

USFHCCC PSA #2: Sledge & Tire

More strange Bacon combinations...

Yes, Bacon Mints!

Hardcore Hatred #372: The Mosquito

After last night's swampy workout, I have two clusters of mosquito bites under each shoulder blade, precisely where I can't reach. I support the complete eradication of these winged hellspawn.

[Death metal song title note to self: "Holocaust of the Culicidae"—blast beat required.]

I'm sure there is some advocacy group from which I shall draw a swarm of bleeding-heart wrath...

Chicks dig that stuff because they know you’re a fighter

Article in today's NYTimes about cauliflower ear & MMA.

In a world gone soft...

Disgrace to the Man Race

Thanks, JokersHigh, for bringing this to the fore. While the USFHCCC would certainly never condone the consumption of such calorie-laden snackery, we do appreciate both hilarity and the punishment of the non-hardcore—regardless of orientation...*

Get some nuts, you effete busybodies!



* The USFHCCC is an Equal Opportunity Advocate of Hardcore

WWO 13: "Abs of Steel"(?)

There was apparently an inside joke in Krav last night that I missed. So, in honor of Karen and Shelley and their respective metal parts (weather permitting):

• TGU (5 per side)
  V-Ups (15)
  Supermans (15)
  Side Bends (10 per side)
  Rotating Dead Lifts (10)
  Russian Twists (30 2-count)
  Sicilian Crunches (10)
  x2


• Throwdowns


• Mark Hatmaker Crunch Circuit (10 slow crunches per position)
  1. Feet down, knees together
     
  2. Knees apart, feet together
  3. Feet up, knees together
  4. Knees apart, feet together in the air
  5. Pike
  6. Legs in V
  7. Right knee up, left leg parallel to and off the ground
  8. Left knee up, right leg parallel to and off the ground
  9. Right side crunches
  10. Left side crunches
      
  
  

New USFHCCC T-Shirt?

Perhaps a response to last night's workout? (Who came up with that blasted thing, anyway?!)

Link

WWO 12: The USFHCCC 300 Workout

Our blog says "One Day, We'll Do This". I will not allow a blog—super fantastic or otherwise—to make me an f'ing liar!

25 V-Ups
25 Snatches (Right) δ
25 Snatches (Left) δ
25 Push-ups
50 Swings δ
50 Burpees
25 Clean and Press or LCCJ (Right) δ
25 Clean and Press or LCCJ (Left) δ
50 Mountain Climbers (2-count)

For a total of 300 reps!

[Bring yer kettlebell(s). And vom bags.]

The USFHCCC is a secret society

The Palombo Super Push-Up Revealed

I dare say these were the ass-kicker of tonight's workout. Damn you, Palombo...

WWO 11: Remember that first one you hated? Yeah, that one, but worse

Subtitle: The Post-Sparring Puker

Sprint Intervals

Sprint half the track, run/jog half the track (x4)

High Octane Cardio

Four stations around the track, sprint between stations:

1. Tire & Sledge (10 swings per side)
2. Burpees (10)
3. Palombo Super Push-Ups (5)
4. Jumping Squats (10)

x4

Then Don't Come to Class!!!

Thank you, JokersHigh, for helping to further alienate the lame and annoying from our Club.

WWO 10b: This Arsenal Ain't Got Nuthin on our Guns

Arsenal Park, 7pm. Look for Harvard Vanguard from Arsenal St. Follow that street all the way to the park.

Some kind of circuit including:

Burpees
Palombo Super Push-Ups
Pull-Ups (assisted if necessary)
Squats
Core circuit

There's some rusty, splinter-ridden workout fixtures scattered about the park we can use too. We'll figure it out...

***ADDENDUM 07.02.08***
Here's what we actually did:

Lower Body

• 10 Burpees
• 20 Lunges
• 30 Squats

Upper Body

• 5 Pull-Ups
• 5 Palombo Super Push-Ups [right side, left side, clapping(+1)]
• Sprint to the park bench, 10 dips, sprint back

Core

Hodgepodge of Pistols, Crunches, V-Ups, Throwdowns

WWO 10a: "This is it, Dude! Let's take that hill!"

In honor of Walter Sobchak and all the bright flowering young men taken at Khe San and Lan Doc, we shall call this Hill 364.

• Sprint the hill to Greenville Rd (or wherever the plateau is near there)
  
• 20 burpees at the top
• Jog back down
• 20 push-ups

x2

***Finisher:

• Sprint the hill to Belmont St.
• 10 burpees at the top
• Jog back down
• 10 push-ups

Speaking of Snatches

We are happy to report that Meghan's snatch was beautiful last night. It was well formed, strong, explosive, and some might even say 'well groomed'.

Congrats Meghan!

USFHCCC PSA #1: The Snatch

There are, on average, 473 snatch-related deaths and 6,782 maiming injuries every year. We of the USFHCCC can serve a vital function in teaching safety in hardcoreness. Thus, our first public service announcement.

TriangleChokeSaysWhat?

Yes, this is Dan Simmler, the same guy who got his jaw busted on the first episode of this season's Ultimate Fighter. Too bad this poor guy couldn't punch...!

Week 9: Jump, jump, jump

Inspired by that jumper last week, we've got a plyometrics workout this week!

10 squat jumps
10 knee tucks
10 one-legged hops, each leg
10 plyo push-ups
10 zig-zag hops
10 lateral hops
10 burpees

x3

Then, we'll work on our depth jumps from the bench on the left side of the field.

My hands f*cking hurt!

Here is how to tape your hands properly for kettlebells.

Rif's blog

Art of Strength Essentials Test

As promised, here it be. This is actually harder than it looks, which is why we'll blast the individual components this Thursday.

• Right Side
• Partial Turkish Get-Up (ground up)
• Single High Pull, single Snatch (30sec)
• Shoulder Press from rack position (30sec)
• Squat in rack position (30sec)
• Long Cycle Clean (30sec)
• One-arm Swing (30sec)
• Transition: Figure 8 to a hold, stop in left hand
• Left Side
• One-arm Swing (30sec)
• Long Cycle Clean (30sec)
• Squat in rack position (30sec)
• Shoulder Press from rack position (30sec)
• Single High Pull, single Snatch (30sec)
• Partial Turkish Get-Up (standing down)

Week 8: See Week 7 Because You All Blew Me Off

Heh... Blew me.

I guess we'll do what we had planned for last week.

As a finisher, we can try the Full Punch Matrix.

Bulging Rippliness Tips from the Griffins

For weight loss:



Or, if you'd prefer the other end:

Kettlebell Info Magazine

Some interesting stuff in here. Check out the interval strength training article and follow the links to the sandbag stuff. I've been wanting to do more with sandbags, though I think this spiffy sack is quite overpriced. Then again, my homemade one exploded all over the field a few weeks ago!

http://www.kettlebellinc.com/kettlebellinfo/v3-1/kbinfo_v3-1.php

http://www.mikemahler.com/articles/sandbag.html

Full Punch Matrix

This stupid player won't embed. Check out this cool workout:

Full Punch Matrix

Week 7: AOS Essentials Test Training

Damn. We had a good one planned, too. For those of you blowing off training this week, we'll have a rousing game of solarplexussayswhat next time...

And for the dedicated, we shall train the individual components of the Art of Strength Essentials test. (I'll post the test itself in a separate blog entry soon). I think it would be pretty sweet if we could work up to shooting a video of all of us performing the test at the same time.

All moves for 2min, 1min rest btwn:

• Turkish Get-Up (as ground sogginess permits) [ladder of 5]
• Single High Pull to a Single Snatch [ladder of 5]
• Shoulder Press [ladder of 5]
• Squat with KB in rack position [60sec each side]
• Long Cycle Clean [ladder of 5]
• One-Arm Swing [ladder of 5]
• Figure 8 to a hold [2min]

x2

(Ladder of 5 = 5 right, 5 left, 4 right, 4 left, 3 right...)

Skip this, bitches!

I want to improve my jumping of rope. We should work on this. [WHACK!]

Week 6: See Week 5[Thanks, rain, you bastard]

Weather permitting, we'll do last Thursday's workout this week, sans DaniD. (She promises to do burpees in Denver!)

As usual, please bring your kettlebell. I will bring my two 16-kg and DaniD's 12-kg.

Adding Grappling to the USFHCCC(?)

I think everyone has voiced interest in doing some grappling. I've been a bit resistant just because of the (lack of) venue and the inherent safety issues. Daylight is also a big concern. Here are some thoughts:

Grappling is not self-defense; grappling is not Krav Maga. If we can all agree on that, we can hopefully dispense with the headbutts and scratching and pinching certain people inevitably revert to while free grappling in class. If we're always engaging in the argument, "Why would I do all that if I could just gouge your eyes out?" our fun will grind to a standstill.

If everyone is interested in grappling techniques, I'm willing and eager to share what I've learned (and continue to get schooled) in BJJ. With so much stuff available on YouTube and in books, everyone can bring ideas, and we'll learn and drill them together. Based on space, safety, supervision, and experience levels, however, I would suggest we stick to technical exercises, flow rolling for positions, and maybe some monitored drills at 75-or-so-percent effort. (I know, I'm a killjoy.)

If this sounds good, everyone get an idea in mind of what you'd like to learn/practice. Based on the consensus, we can begin declaring a Grappling Technique of the Week that we'll tag onto the end of our conditioning workouts.

Week 5: Really? Stations Again? Oh, and more burpees? I quit...

60sec each, 30sec rest in between (and I'll remember the stopwatch this week!):
δ = kettlebell

• Burpees
• Sumo Squats δ
• Super Planks
• Sicilian Crunches δ
• Rack, Squat, and Kick (30sec each side) δ
• Triceps Extension / Crush Curl δ
• Chinnies
• Rope Undulations

x3

***Finisher: 3min Snatch Test δ

Very rare KISS song

Week 4: Sprints, Core, Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes

Thursday's workout:

For 15 minutes:
10 burpees, sprint approx 50 yards, 10 pushups, run backwards to the beginning


Core circuit:
1 min each, 3 times through the circuit
supermans
chinnies
v-ups
medicine balls slams
tire and sledgehammer

Finisher:
If we have it in us, we will work on our Turkish Get-Ups (so, bring a KB if you want)




And, we have a surprise for you!!!

The best kettlebell exercise for a fighter??

Interesting article and video on the Long Chain Clean & Jerk (LCCJ):

http://www.rmaxinternational.com/blog/?p=29

Move Over RickRolling--ASolarPlexusSaysWhat?

Week 3: Stations, everyone!

Please bring your kettlebell.

Workout for Thursday:

60 secs at each station, 30 sec rest between each. Repeat twice.

Sledgehammer & Tire
Sandbag Shouldering
Burpees
Ab exercise of choice
Swings
Snatches
Clean-n-press
High Pulls
Squats of choice
Push-ups of choice

*Finisher: Sandbag sprint to 10 push-ups

Who's in?

John showed!!

Last night was great! It was hard, especially after Patrick's Krav class.

Some pics:

Meghan, getting ready for the snatch:



"Ow, Karen, stop kicking me in the back!"
"Oh, stop being such a wimp, John"




"Can't we just giggle all night?"

Week 2: Pullin' A Palombo

He came up with the workout; will he show up?
Don't forget your kettlebell!

One minute each:
1) Clean + press (30sec per side)
2) KB squat
3) Bent-over rows (30sec per side)
4) Snatch (30sec per side)
5) Swings
6) Burpees

x3

***Finisher: Sand Bag Relay

Suggestions for Next Week?

How are we feeling folks? Last night was great. I woke with that good sore this morning (which kept me in bed and not anywhere near the track).

What do folks want to do next week? Share exercises or complete routines.

First Convening of the USFHCCC: A Resounding Success?

Kudos to all for their individual and collective sticktoitiveness last night. I hope everyone enjoyed it as much as I did. Danelle and I are never lacking ideas, but please make suggestions for next week's workout.

There was talk last night about doing some technical stuff like grappling outside of class. It might be cool to add this to the USFHCCC if everyone's open and eager. I'm by no means a BJJ wizard (I'm just a comparative notch above COMPLETE SUCK, actually), but I'm willing to show techniques and strategies. I think the field would be just fine for that, though not so great for full-on rolling!

Thanks everybody. More to follow...

Can we try this?

This might totally break my back, but I'll willing to try it! (Got this from a CrossFit website)

Happy Patriot's Day!

Suggested workout for Thursday, April 24:

4 stations around the track, run to each station, repeat 4 times:

5 snatches each side
10 pushups
20 two handed swings
15 jumping squats

***Finisher: 50 yds of burpees!

Bring your kettlebells so we have enough.

Ultra Super Fantastic Hardcore Combat Conditioning Club

The USFHCCC is now convened.

Here are some catch phrases that have been suggested:

• Combat Conditioning: So Hard We'll Vivisect Your Grandmother
• USFHCCC: Your Women and Children Mean Nothing to Us
• [Pic of a giant, spiky kettle bell] Perch on This and Rotate
• We Do Snatches by the Baker's Dozen. (Hold the Yeast.)
• Combat Conditioning: Kinda like a Dominatrix, but not as romantic
• Combat Conditioning: Kick ass, rinse, repeat
• Combat Conditioning: We're all working on Meghan's Snatch
• We'll rip your nipples off, dust them with cinnamon and eat them as a light appetizer before bashing your fucking skull in with a kettlebell, beeyach.